=.=

太多事情,我不想记得;太多心情,我很想抹灭,可以吗?

How can I know, if you don't say~

Ya! How can I know if you don't say?

We talk a lot each and everyday...

but most of us, sadly to say,

most likely to miss out the most important words to tell;

the words that can change you and your loved one's life;

the words that are meaningful enough to someone special;

the words that can change someone's perception;

the words that can change your life;

the words that can bring the beauty of relationship;

the words that can replace any romantic arrangement;

the words that can tell something from your heart;

the words that you hide from someone long time ago;

the words that you wish to tell but has failed to;

the words that you keep and keep and keep;

finally dies in your deep heart's core;

no one else would know; no one else would care;

Because~

If you don't say, how can I know?

My dear,

No matter what you want to tell,

Tell it before you regret.

Times lapsed and things changed,

We have no control on anything.

Treasure every moment we have with everyone,

Show how much you love and care them.

They would probably eager to hear it from you.

Love is all around;

and they remain only if you show it out:)

心...碎...

心渐渐劳累, 很明白, 再也回不了过去;

以往的回忆越来越清晰, 才知道, 其实更折磨.

很想说, 其实我在意, 其实我难过,

事过境迁, 还是人心改变?

很感动一直拥有这样要好的朋友, 我心存感激.

偏偏, 大家都身在困境, 实在不想有谁受伤.

误会可以杀人, 能剥夺一切.

心里对对方的关怀, 还有谁说得出口?

彼此建立的友谊, 是时间培养出来, 一点一滴, 都很珍贵;

可惜, 摧毁时, 却没有半点犹豫.

遗下的, 是心碎, 是遗憾.

很想问, 为什么事情就不能好好解决? 为什么非得弄僵局面?

是否双方都有一定的责任?

牵强, 是辛苦的.

回想当初是如何相识, 如何变得要好;

回想一起欢笑, 说自己尴尬的事;

回过头来, 才知道, 我再也改变不了什么.

后悔为何开始这场误会, 如果早知如此, 我们都不会做这样的决定.

如果从此形同陌路, 心有不舍, 但我又能做些什么?

学习到怎么不掉眼泪, 即使难过, 相信总会过去;

明白自己也会冲动, 但请谅解, 我也会心疼.

事情发生了, 就再也弥补不了什么,

只希望, 一切都会过去, 然后又回到原点.

而我, 仍然珍惜, 这个好朋友.

Life Keeps on Moving~

Sometimes I was doubted by myself, seriously. There's always a determinant inside my heart, my mind and even my soul that would every moment eagerly wanted me to perform well, in almost every part of my life. I hate to regret, if I supposed to get something in my hand, then I should have got it. I try to do my best in my studies, try to score in every test and exam, I know I don't deserve a chance to retry for failure. Time is always being limited, not left much for me if I wish to achieve all d dreams in my life. I almost cried when I found out that there's a big mistake in my answer sheet for my taxation test. I blamed myself, I should not do such a stupid mistake since I have gone through this again and again. And I finally realize ''is not a real good thing if you are so clear or expert about something'' you will get yourself wrong because you always perceive that you will always get it right! and the cruel truth is that ''you have to accept and admit that you have done some mistake which you yourself think that it will never happen on u''..overvalue myself?yup!perhaps...

There's always kind-hearted ppl around , telling me that failure is never a big deal, we can fight towards it!yup~i used to be so positive-thinking a while ago, but finally come out v my own conclusion which is ''we do not have so much time to fail and to wake up and to retry'' Life is just like a war, try hard you will survive. I have always remind myself, ''ppl are evaluating me, all d time'' to spot my mistake and to replace me v someone else. I learned this from job. We have to be alert all d time when those spy are actually around to bring you into d troubles. And finally I make myself think this way ''All is on our own''.

To make myself a better person, failure may help a lot. I have to learn from it, and I have to be always quick to recover..There's too much challenges awaiting right in front of me~And I know I have to be always Be Ready!

Can I take a break?

Was totally exhausted since I came bc fr Redang trip and went bc to college life..Let's see..I was never setting down for weeks I think..This was killing me I thought and I finally have to admit I isn't super woman though I think I should have gone a little bit farer~feel disappointed with that actually..Hmm..honestly speaking..I have a lot of plan in mind..I have a lot of so called ambitious..I have too much to dream on..I have too much to achieve..and most of the time, I don't even realize..I may not have enough strength..how sad is it huh?Tell myself I have to be really persevere and God knows how much I sacrifice for things that I have been desperately wish for such long time..and I do really think that everything I pay for it worth much more than that!!I just need more time..more patience..more strength..more courage..and I guess everything would be fine!!!Still strive for that..though is really tiring~~

My current daily life is always full with job interviews,working,attend class and probably handling some household stuff..and I'm surprised that time lapsed much more faster than I could ever imagine and I finally found that things never go according to my original plan~travelling here and there and I really have to cope v a lot of problems with just myself...

I'm always thinking of should I make myself so miserably tired and busy?ended up realizing that I am not given a choice most of the time~I have to be speedy in order to be on track..need money to pay for my swimming lesson,piano lesson,yoga and bla bla bla..feel not so good to ask from parents again..think I should figure out some of my living expenses myself..aiks!!but is such a burden for a student rite??I have to be strong~~

Sometimes I was thinking how good it would be if i have just some time for me to take a nap or just to do nothing..no rushing time..and it is totally relax~~Has been long time ago since I lost this kind of feelings..Wish I can lie down on the beach now..enjoying the lapping of water and the beauty of seaview..I would probably fall asleep easily over there~Miss the beach of Redang badly~~

~Back from Internship-->Beginning of college life~

Finally ended my 2 and a half month internship programme!~I was always thinking of how good would it be if I can go back to college immediately since d first week I started my internship..But when it had come to the time when I really have to say good bye..I feel so hard to do so..Missed them a lot..and thanks to all the managers and seniors who have taught me a lot..Thanks!!~Failed to control myself on the day when I left the company..my tears couldn't stop dropping down when they hugged me and leave me some kind advice..Things never wonderful isn't it?Perhaps I will become a better me only if I go through all these..Do take care ya all of my colleagues..will miss u al!!!

Starting point of a new semester~should pursue better result and I might as well complete all my wishes which I have made long time ago~not going to delay anything anymore~I must achieve what I want myself to achieve!!!~

Gambateh for everyone~

~Ramblings~

It's finally come to thursday's night..and again friday's coming..if I said it has been a tiring week..probably ppl wil reverting me in this way:"what you expect from working life?everyone is experiencing the same thing..and is meaningless when you keep complaining..so don't crab anymore''aiks~~what to do..when you tell me there's always choices in life..and I would tell you there's always obstacle to choices in life..and your turn telling me ''this is life''..omg!!!~~

Never thought i will work off my anger on a waitress today in a mamak stall..not having good mood when everything comes in one shot and was like:''can everything just leave me alone?''i don't like when i'm feeling really uncomfortable with smth and d worst thing is I would still have to keep quiet because complaining is never a smart choice..so..when i ordered food in the stall and thinking that i would at least get some rest..the waitress give such big disappointment by bringing the wrongly ordered food..she pissed me off when she tried to protect herself by saying i'm d one who ordered wrongly..ok..no chance for her and I start ''scolding''..i don't really express my feeling especially anger, what i would do normally is just trying to keep quiet..and she was bad luck when i couldn't take this anymore..should not be in this way so i really hope everybody will think for others cuz you will never know you cause the anger while others are trying to keep it down~~

My bf is currently facing difficulty in his company..he was assigned a task which he has no idea what is that about and the worst thing is even other staffs including the boss himself has no idea either..d boss is trying to get someone to investigate everything for him while he is d one who enjoys the results..okay..boss should have such power but pls be reminded that when you yourself know nth and you should have no power to demand how well the result which your employees can give you..yup!!you have no power even you are d boss!!i'm taking up the task to assist you but pls be aware that even i'm your employees,I should at least get some respect and kind concern from you..you pay me for the jobs done and i wil try my best too..if you were to complain and criticize other's performance but at the same time you are not a good modal..you are not smart at all..never judge ppl's hardwork because you would never know how much effort they put in for you..and you would finally lose them because you never learn to appreciate...what is so proud of when your employees choose to leave some bad comments for you and switch to other company..

Stand up for those ppl who have to endure with uncomfortable working environment and unfriendly employer or colleagues..you have nth to blame on yourself..what you can do is strive for the better one..everyone is not born to be a loser..and you should be respected..i'm happy and I feel lucky I got friendly seniors and managers..for those who don't have..you shall believe one day you could change the situation...

It's tiring Monday again...

Hi all..it had been a tiring week since last monday..my intern partner was taking 2 days' leave and I actually got to share up his assigned work..it's actually good when i get to learn more..but d another way round..i was superb tired..i'm happy if everything i done is appreciated..even if d case i made mistakes..i hope for forgiveness and understanding..i might do some mistakes if my work loads become heavier and when d time more ppl count on me..my pressure level is increasing incrementally, and sometimes drastically!!!Pressure can be good..at least i know my level and what i can perform..with or without guidance..I truly understand how staffs rate self-enrichment at work place for such a high percentage..and at d same time..why they want to be appreciated desperately..even they might not get a satisfying figure of salary..everyone wants to be respected and everyone wish to make things better with their existence and everyone want their existence to be aware..ya..definitely!!!

I'm so happy when i get d chance to work with my existing managers..they are superb understanding and they do pay attention and concern to us..even when i lose control, letting my feelings to explode, and finally tears dropping down silently, i got their consolation and they lead me through d way which i clearly understand these are all the tough circumstances which i hv to go through if i wish to success..big thanks to them and some seniors who really so caring and warm..i love them~~

Fall sick again..hard to recover fully since last month when i actually fall sick seriously..fever+sore throat is killing me..some more when i hv to work and it seems there is never an end for my assignments..scary actually...

Wish i can fully recover by tml morning and all the best for tml's work~~wish everyone out of this screen have a good night sleep~~

If I could relax~~

I am thinking if I can have a good rest, especially when I'm totally not in a good mood, it should be perfect. At least, better than nothing.

It's hard to tolerate everything in life and even I have tried my best, it might not be perfect in other's eyes. And yea, I should not care about that, but when others keep thinking I'm not doing my best and I'm not playing smart enough, I was losing my mind, seriously. Did I tend to be purposely doing all the mistakes? Or did I purposely act like a fool?=[ I'm trying to be d best of me..and I'm sure everyone is doing the same. Just that in the process of learning..I might need even more luck than anyone else would need, cuz i really wish to learn..as fast as possible..as many as possible..and it is always not too possible when I cannot accomplish all these by just myself..I need patience..I need guidance..I need luck.. Best luck to myself~~

Keep cooling down..no big deal..nothing's gonna break me down..

While everything is like such a mess in my daily life..I am stealing some bits of life for myself~~Let's relax~~

Good luck everyone~~

I experiencing little sweetness from them~~

When the moment she said "Is ok, don't worry" and letting her hand to place on my shoulder gently, I feel her warmness and the concern sent by her touched my heart. I will never know how lucky I am to have a such a chance to work with such nice managers when I'm going through my internship program. When the moment I fell sick seriously and when most of the people will choose to stay distance from me, afraid that my sickness is going to affect them, there are these small group of ppl stand by my side to support me telling me i will be ok and i'm not infected. And ya, is them!!!my close friends from my workplace and my managers~~I sincerely thank them and I really appreciate every little concern they try to send to me~~They change my point-of-view and I seriously realize there are kindness and understanding in this such big listed company.

I was so scared when i have to go through the blood test and there are friends stay beside me while there are people who try to stop them saying that they will be infected by my serious sickness. And through this, I get to experience the sincere of the friendship and the another way round how people can think and act when they only care for themselves. This is normal, my dad told me..Nothing to sad about, maybe..

In between of the internship program, I learn much more than what I ought to learn. I would have to say..they change me in some way, it could be just a little, to become a better me. And of this, I accomplished the other part of me and the way how i should see life with heart but not only with eyes~~

Sincerely thanks the managers and the seniors who tend to be patient with me and always being understanding and forgiving. Nothing would worth much than going through such complete learning process of life with you guys~~

Sending my regards here~~Good night~~

~A visit from my dear friend~

My tiring Saturday finally ends here.Doing the same v last week's one-->keyboard lesson + giving tuition.I waited for the bus to go to the student's hs in the afternoon and the Rapid's driver disappointed me by saying the bus will only move in an hour time.ok..no choice..taxi again!..can thay juz follow the schedule will do?they don't really care for public and punctuality will never be in their mind..what the***after 2 hours tuition..i walked along the residential area to get to the bus stop.One motor cyclist made his way to me in a real fast speed i would say..i lost my mind and wondering what he would do to me?snatch my bag?playing fool v me?i nearly ran into one of the houses there where the gate was actually opened at that moment.I was scared.I hate those ppl who has nth to do and they make use of their time by lepak on the road and convict some offence.what is running in their mind..i'm wondering.They hv no moral and totally immature.They get excited when we are being frightened by their scary faces.oh no..can anyone do smth to prevent these..don't think so either..

Finally my keyboard lesson ended this week..asking whether will I go for the test.I have no idea..I couldn't find benefits from it either..or mayb i should just stop everything now and I would get myself started only in next sem..will find a good and qualified tutor for myself i think.><

Was thinking a lot about human's behavior lately..Everyone has their own behavior and we may find it very difficult to match our's to others' one.Even among friends, there are cases like this.Normally, we would think for others' feelings before we actually say smth or we should nt do anything which we know this will hurt other.But how many ppl will actually thinking the same v us?For them, they might have different point of view and they are firm enough v their own standpoint which you don't agree at all.How many of them will care for u?They don't even willing to admit the mistake done by them.For them, all the mistakes may become yours.Think before we speak, think before we act.We would never want to hurt anyone whom we care a lot.

A friend of mine visiting me today and I was surprised by her visit.Miss her a lot and she reminds me of a lot memories that we had before.It's hard to get someone being so understanding and she keeps our promise for friendship.I'm wishing her d best for her future life and may she stay happily always v her loved one.I'm really thankful for those friends who stay v me since my childhood and and I would really want to keep them v me forever.A big thanks to all my friends giving me so much love and support!!!

Good night for everyone~~

:(:(:(

I have been superb tired lately..since my last update..i mentioned that i m currently going for internship program..basically i work 5 days a week..left my pleasure weekend..i stil hv to rush for keyboard lesson and teaching tuition as well..why i hv to make myself so busy and tension?..i am wondering actually..i'm nt given a chance to choose?there's no better choice?mayb..since i started first level for keyboard lesson..i'm thinking that it is wasted is i were to give up half way when i haven't actually get myself to learn through it..but did i make a good decision?do i gain something enough during the class?i hv no idea..:(..not born to be a musician?i would rather admit this?..hardly got the time for myself when i stil have to handle tuition for one student..but i'm really excited when i got my pay for all the sacrifice..doin my best to earn much even though i'm stil not doin good actually..feel ashamed when i stil tend to ask money from parents since i got a job..(although d job i have now need more investment on my side and i don't really get much return)..gonna save money?oh no..don't think i will..having damn boring weekend..not feeling good though:(

~A brand new update~

Such a hiatus since d last time i updated my blog..i guess i was busy enough recently..everytime when i actually get myself to sit in front of my laptop thinking of blogging..some kinda feel running in my mind just like i will never noe when should i start my story and most of d time i use to hv to much to talk about..that's the thing!!..so..give up and go to bed..aiks

Finally started my internship programme at Symphony Corporatehouse.I was told that i am d lucky one to enter into tis company to learn smth about the real corporate world since it is among d 'BIG FOUR' company in Malaysia and i guess i will see smth which others don't see?mayb..I try my best to complete my task and assignment given by each manager and senior and i noe d reality very well which is since i'm nt coming here for money,den at least i must get smth bc in my way..which is experience. I noe i must get myself to learn and i must put in effort by myself..not that everyone will teach or guide you if u keep quiet as if u noe everything..I could be dub and i would not care if u noe i isn't smart enough..d important thing is after all..i should get myself to be real smart~~

One more thing weighing my mind..feel like give up on my keyboard lesson..i noe it's totally wasted since i have started half way..but just that i couldn't get myself to learn properly or to enjoy it..friends telling me mayb i need a good teacher?to understand me well and guide me according to what i could adsorb..ya..mayb..i try to practice even i hv limited time..i guess i noe d theory well,juz that when come to application,i might not be that good.I try not to say 'what an idiot' to myself..i still can be d best even i may lose in some way..but still..i am stress out!!!

Wishing myself could have good working day each morning when i step into my department..i can satisfy each of you guys if i am given chances..ya~~no fool!!!as usual..i wish everyone outside this screen would have a beautiful days alwez..i appreciate much when you guys sitting down to get updated v my blog~~good night!!~~