笨蛋的幸福

我以为我足够坚强，我以为我足够力量，
或许，我总以为自己无论什么事都办得到，
我总以为，乐观的心态可以笑看一切人生的喜怒哀乐，还有酸甜苦辣，
但为什么我会居然没想到，一些冲着我来的突发事件，
足以令我惊慌失措，脑袋失去正常的思考功能，
只能傻傻站在原地愣着，再也反应不过来。
我或者真的像大家说的一样不够聪明，而且还真有点笨。
开心的时候，美好事情绕着自己转时，
我总不会去想到在这之后会有坏事物降临吗？
又或者在我尝透快乐的甜头时，悲伤的事会突然出现考验我吗？
我只想要简简单单，拥抱幸福快乐。
我的要求不高，不要求自己一定要高尚，
我只要简单，真的。
或者，连这样也是一种贪婪把？
因为，每个人来到这世界，或者都背负自己的责任。
我们没有权利推辞，而且还只能胜任。
我不相信会有个人在这艰难的人生道路上不曾跌倒受伤，
但我却相信每个人可以用坚强乐观的心态去完成上天给予的使命。
那是因为，只要相信，就有奇迹；只要相信，就会成功，就会拥有。
即使最后的结果或许不由我们控制，即使会失败，即使会跌得遍体鳞伤，
但至少我曾经相信过，我曾经用尽全力尝试过，那就没有遗憾，没有后悔。
所以，我也不信会没人懂得我的真心，会没人珍惜我的真。
我只是个简单的笨蛋，或者只有笨蛋，才会感受到幸福吧?
所以，所以，或者，我。。。还是宁愿当个笨蛋。。。

我幸福，因为我笨蛋。。。

如果我告诉你，若要更快乐，那你必须更简单，那必须再笨蛋一些，
你愿意相信吗？你愿意尝试吗？
我从来不明白，为什么这个世界总爱那么复杂？
我从来不理解，为什么有些人要活得那么痛苦？
其实，很多事原来可以很简单，原来不一定要复杂。
我讨厌总在身边提醒我要记得长大的人，我知道，或者他们是真心真意为我好，
我不喜欢别人总跟我说，‘你不可以总那么简单化地看世界，这样会吃亏的。’
我也不愿意听见别人告诉我，‘别把世界上的人都当好人，不要跟别人保持太要好的关系，你或者还不懂别人的内心世界。’
我，真得快疯了。
听见这种好似关怀的话，我或许还真受不了。
因为，我从没有想过他们所想到的；我从来没有那么多顾忌。
正因为简单，很多问题对我来说不是问题；
正因为愚蠢，太多事情，我没有深层化的去想它。
但是，也正因为如此，我坦白，我没有秘密。
也因为这样，我更快乐，我更自然。
别逼我变成熟，别告诉我要懂得长大。
我，还是我，让我完全属于自己好吗？
或者我永远都太幼稚，永远都不懂思考，
但是，我就是那个最真实的我，所以我不再需要改变。。。

miss u...my dear daddy...

dono y...suddenly...very miss my dad...i tin i start miss my home sweet home dy...aiks...lately...feel run out of energy...feel tired...feel lk want 2 die dy...b4 tis...whenever i face pro...i never feel lonely 2 solve it...i hv my lovely parents...i hv my lovely friends...bside me...2 support me...mayb al of us may nit a period 2 grow up...2 upgrade ourself...n 2 face difficulties by ourselves...but dono y...juz feel tat i m nt yet well-prepared...i stil nit sum times...i miss my dad...really miss him...i nit him by my side...he is alwez d one who help me...he is alwez d one who sacrifice 4 me...mayb bcuz of tis...i never grow up...i never learn 2 b mature...stil remember...wat my dad alwez try 2 tell me...'u should learn 2 grow up dy...y u never let me feel tat u r already adult?y u alwez let me worry bout u...'tin bc wat he say seriously...he is rite...dad...i miss u...n i luv u...i m here 2 tell u...i wil try my best 2 improve myself...so tat u don hv 2 worry me anymore...nobody can ever replace u in my heart...u r d only one...n u r d special one...al d best 4 u...my dear daddy...

anything wrong v stupid???

today i go interview 4 my society's committee...i never feel scare about it...never feel nervous or stress...juz no feeling...or i should say sum kinda blur blur...nt bcuz i m confident enough...nt bcuz i m so proud...nt bcuz i m brave enough...juz dono wat kinda feel i should hv...i dono wat i 'm doing...wat i 'm saying...where m i going...i...m...tired...really tired...too many things cums 2 me...too many things nit 2 handle...i noe i should b tough...i noe i should nt say i m nt alrite...i m mature enough 2 solve my problem...i m nt a child...i try remind myself...but y...i m juz a simple gal...never tin much...juz showing my real personality...y telling me smth cruel...y force me 2 accept smth tat i don wan 2 accept...or mayb...u al r rite...i m juz a child...a innocent gal...noe nth...but wat's wrong v tis...juz bcuz of innocent...i never noe wat u al noe...juz bcuz i m stil a child...i never tin wat is wrong or rite...mayb...i m too'ikut perasaan'...tat's y...there is no bad ppl or bad thing in my world...i trust al of u...lk i trust myself...i luv al of u...lk i luv myself...from my deep heart's core...i hear myself saying...i juz wan 2 b simple...even stupid...i juz wan 2 b lk a child...even it seems crazy...but i juz trying 2 tell u al...this is a way 2 get happiness...i din bluff...trust me...

kexin...tired life...

very tired lately...my CS meeting really make me exhausted...haiz...aiks...dono y sumtimes feel very confuse...lonely...dono who should i talk 2...or i should say...sumtimes ppl mayb dont agree v wat we tin...n our action oso...i m nt going 2 control everyone...i m nt going 2 tel everyone 2 follow wat kexin do n wat kexin say...4 kexin...everything is juz so simple...everything is juz so wateva...but wat should i say leh...sum ppl juz tin tat i should nt b so simple or mayb wat they say-innocent...ya...they r right...i m nt mature enough...i m juz a child...i m nt going 2 hide myself...about personality or feelings towards many things...i m juz a simple gal...mayb u can say stupid...but 4 me...everything wil b perfect n nt 'mahuan' if u tin positively n b a bit stupid...i m nt saying tat i refuse 2 grow up...or refuse 2 tin about pro...but if we r happy v wat we hv n wat we want...y should we change...i m juz practise out wat my heart tells me...i m juz showing d real kexin...i m kexin...n i m myself...no ppl can ever tell me 2 change fr kexin 2 another person...i juz want 2 b myself...d very real kexin... i hv my own opinion...i hv my own feelings...n i hv my right 2 mk decision 4 myself oso...i noe...sumtimes...they juz care 4 us...tat's y they wil say smth hurt or doing smth tat we even cant imagine...but juz let me tell u all...i luv u al...lk u al luv me...but mayb juz provide sum space 4 my own thoughts oso...k???don force me 2 grow up...it wil cum naturally...don try destroy kexin which u al hv nw...let me b simple...let me b stupid...let me b happy...let me b easy-going...let me b myself...as i say...i luv u al...n i luv myself too...thx u al ya...